The most heartbreaking thing to write was Rafael’s letter
As mentioned in my previous blog post, writing has become my passion. It doesn’t matter where I am; I write. Whether I am at work or out shopping, I’m always jotting down ideas for my books. When it came time to write Deadly Vows, the second book in the Hannah Walker Mystery Series, I knew the most heartbreaking passage would be the letter Rafael writes to Hannah. Because of the strong, close bond they share, that scene could either make the reader’s heart soar or shatter it completely. Deadly Vows is where Hannah is pushed to her limits, both in life and in understanding who she truly is.
After the accident that leaves her battered and in a coma, she loses the ability to recognize what and who is right in front of her. If Hannah shouted at Jonathan or Bree or grew frustrated with them, I didn’t mind writing those moments, but the letter Rafael writes to Hannah was, without question, the most difficult thing to write.
Probably one of the reasons it was difficult to write was that, throughout the whole book, Rafael spends nearly every waking hour trying to ensure Hannah remembers him. There are several moments when Hannah recalls bits and pieces, yet she also sometimes feels the pressure from Rafael, even though his intentions are sincere and he is trying to help rather than control her. When she has had enough, she yells at him, leaving him heartbroken.
As he steps into his apartment, he makes the painful decision that the kindest thing for both of them—especially for her—is to leave her. Rafael then composes a heartbreaking letter. In it, he recalls for Hannah the moments they shared in Paris. Below is an excerpt from the letter Rafael writes to Hannah. Words cannot fully capture how difficult it was to write this section of the book. Much of it came from creative impulse, but I also drew on personal experiences I have lived through. Before, when I once reunited with someone, my greatest fear was that they would not remember me. Icried for a couple of minutes while I was writing the letter from Rafael to Hannah, the words stirring up memories and emotions I hadn't expected.
“Do you remember Paris, Ma Cherie? The way the city lights danced on the Seine at night? I remember taking you to the Champ de Mars, the cool evening air against our faces as we waited. And then the Eiffel tower, erupting in a cascade of twinkling lights. Your gasps of wonder, the way your hand reached for mine- those moments are etched into my soul. I held you close that night, not just physically. But emotionally, wanting to absorb any lingering shadows that might have haunted you. You were so brave Hannah, so resilient, even after facing such darkness three years ago.”
